Why Am I?

Why am i?

You may think you have been dealt a bad deck

You may think you got a rough road to travel

You may think you have to suffer at every turn.

But but but 

Just keep it in mind

You have a strong will to withstand strong headwinds

You have the warmest heart to weather all challenges

You have the brightest smile to face the toughest situation 

Above all you are surrounded with best of people to pick you up when you are down

Look up

Get up

Cheer up

You are the best,

You will be the happiest

Love the life as if there is no tomorrow

You will be like a bright sunshine to those who seek warmth and love

Unsaid Goodbyes - 2

It all starts with late replies

Then less chats and crisp calls

And finally no replies.

In the age of instant messages

and

Always on data packs

If someone is not replying

then they are not busy

But just avoiding you.

Better to leave with good memories

Rather than lose sleep over it.

Unsaid Goodbyes - 1

It all starts with late reply.

I was busy, no network

All excuses are thrown around freely

Then less chats and crisp calls

And finally no replies.

You will be wondering

What went wrong.

There was no indication that

The friendship was on the brink

But then i realised

It is simply that the path we travelled ends here and 

we have to go our separate ways.

 Our lives crosses with others

for certain purposes

Once that is fulfilled

We have to leave each other

Either with good memories or lessons.

Without You

What's your point of living?

Any of us can discard you. 

As just a mortal, 

im just thinking of junking you 

from my vocabulary and my mind. 

You thought you can always find a way 

in my mind and words.

You thought i cannot put anything in writing without you and your spirit. 

I also bought the notion 

how can i do it without you. 

But alas, 

what a wrongful thought it was. 

Im not going to allow it, 

Im going to try living without you. 

Not just living, 

im looking forward for thriving without you. 

From this point you will go away, 

far away from this spot, 

from this paragraph 

and 

finally from my mind.

Being there

I used to wonder what could be the best thing we can do as an expression of love.

Is it by giving flowers?

Is it buying some beautiful dresses?

Is it by giving gifts?

Is it going out to fancy dining restaurants?

Is it by going to far away holidays?

Everything is materialistic and has value attached to it. Our expression of love through material lasts only to a point. Eventually they are just materials which cannot show the true worth of the love.

Then what else?. 

I realised, the best gift you can give to your loved one is

Being there! 

Being there emotionally

Being there physically

Basically your time with them. Now a days even your time is being monetised, but the time you spend with your loved ones is always invaluable.

All they want from us is spending time with them.

Being there with them

To talk 

To listen

To lean on the shoulder

To hold her

To share the laughter

To share their fears

To wipe away their tears

To make the meal

To walk 

To read

More than all these

To be just being themselves

Damn even to just be there even if doing all the nothings in the world.

If you give her the time,

She will give her heart and soul to you.

There is no greater feeling in this world than someone is there for them.

There is no worse feeling in this world than being alone even if someone is there for them.

Love like a wind

Love is a feeling just like wind

You cant see it but only feel it

Atleast wind you can measure

But love there is no measurement

Either you can feel it or not

Many days it can be like gentle breeze

You would love to sleep in its lap

Some days it can be like strong wind

 It slaps in your face and make you realize

But there are days

It will hit you like hurricane

You cannot withstand if you are not strong enough

You will be crazily floating around

You will be mesmerized and disoriented.

But the worst is the stillness of calm, 

No love, just you lost it

None to love and no one to love you.

Falling apart

The day you thought not to tell

The day you felt im not close enough

The day you didnt want to share the most important journey in your life

The day you decided, it is enough to tell after it happened

The day you felt the happiness not to be shared with me

That day im no more friend of you

but just an acquaintance.

The day showed we have travelled away a long distance.

Im always happy for you, for your joy.

Letting you go

Im letting you go

Even though it is the hardest thing to do

Im letting you go

Even though it hurts me to the bone

Im letting you go

As it pains me to see the pain you will go through

Im letting you go

Not because i love you no more

Im letting you go

because i cannot prove the love no more

Im letting you go

Not because you deserve better 

Im letting you go

 If we are meant to be together

We will find a way to be in this life or next

Im letting you go.

Long lost soul

We meet someone

We just click

Its as if we are just continuing from a distant past

We chat and talk

Sharing each other our stories

Our Joys, fears, flaws, insecurities

Feel deep sense of comfort and camaraderie

It is just pure unadulterated companionship

Minutes turns to hours

Hours turns to day

Day turns to night

Night approaching dawn

Time and space becomes a blur

and 

our breath start to synchronize

You and Me

When i speak to you

All i want is to see you

When i sit next to you

I want to hold your hands

When i see your eyes

I can see all the pain you gone through

When i touch you

I can feel the scars both inside and outside

When i see your lips

I can hear all the unspoken words

When im with you

All i want is to hug you

When i leave you

I already start missing you

You make me vulnerable

And 

Iam not afraid to reveal it to you.

At First Sight

First day,

The day i entered the college

with great excitement

and ofcourse nervousness

Getting inside the building after enquiring.

Walking up the stairs,

butterflies running amok inside me

Going to 

meet new people

Make new friends

Learn something.

Walked up and down searching for the class

Checking where my class is

Just crossed a class peeking inside

Some students chatting

There She was in a Green dress

Sitting cross legged in a student chair

Smiling and speaking with others

Ok, is it my class? Fingers crossed.

Students looked kind of relaxed and chatting

Thought maybe second year students

Crossed the class and went to next

Hoping that was not mine.

Yesss!! It was not..

Fortunately the next class was second year.

I was redirected to go back.

Again crossed the first class

Peeking a glance inside 

Looking for Her.

Wearing a green chudidhar

Her hair tied up as a knot

With a brown colour clip? 

It was something new i have never seen.

im registering everything with just a look.

Never knew in the morning

Im going to be floored at a first glance.

Knew that was the class but still went past it.

Trying to calm down a bit.

Finally entered the finest world till then

Wanting to know Her.

Everything was a blur that day except Her.

Her presence was felt by everyone

Including me who can be invisible

Infront of her radiating personality.

She was popular the first day itself.

Never knew the following months

Going to be the most intense feelings 

Im going to go through.

Loneliness

Im hurt

My heart ripped apart by you

And

My soul is crushed and empty.

I cant love anymore, anyone

I don't want to get hurt again

I hate everyone

Damn

I hate myself

I want to be left alone

I don't want anyone to enter my life

Im scared to get hurt again and again.

I raised a wall to keep everyone out.

I fortified my wall

With suspicion, anger, anxeity, depression

I felt happy to be in my shell

My wall become higher and higher

I have become lonelier and rigid

Lonelier nights and dried tears

accompanied me to sleep

Times flies away and years rolled over

My heart mended itself

I needed someone

To talk to 

Arms to run into

Shoulder to lean on 

Warm hugs to forget my worries.

I had raised my fort so high

No one dared to enter

and

those who did, 

didnt understand me.

None hears my anguished cry 

to accept me as me.

I dont want anyone to rescue me

I just need a companion to walk beside me.

ஏக்கம்

அந்தி சாய்ந்த வேலை,

அலைகள் பாதங்களை உறசிட

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